Eugenios Four Cheese Pizza

Hello, this is November 29th...and I'm, Leonard. And today I'm reviewing Costco's Chicken Potstickers. 

So, let's say that you've been laid off and have to stay home all the time due to the global economy tanking because of a new contagious disease, what do you do? Well, you're going to want 2 things: a designated driver and a bag of frozen potstickers. And fresh ginger.

Ok, so, I bought the ginger to make ginger beer, and that hasn't happened. Mostly because I'm not sleeping much and all I really have the energy for are convenience foods. Enter: the light lunch frozen potstickers.

Now, I could tell you how to cook them, or your could read the fucking bag. And are they special? Anything but. Enter: the ginger.

Don't use the sauce packet that comes with it. Or do, I haven't tried it. Instead make your own sauce. 4T rice wine vinegar, 4T soy sauce, 3 or 4 cloves minced or pressed garlic (you love food so much, go ahead and mince it. But if you do, why are you eating frozen potstickers?), maybe a teaspoon of sesame oil, and a shitload of ginger, grated. 

Oh, you were going to use a microplane for the ginger. Fine. Go ahead. Fucking 'foodie'. 

I have one too. I'd use it if I wanted fluffier ginger. And let's face it: I could hide my shame, or double down on it by admitting that I use a ginger grater. to get a juicy goo. It was like a buck. And you get all the juice. Oh, the juice. I'm not better than you, like, at all. Sometimes I lick the juice out of the grater after I make the sauce.

Photo montage:

Yeah, I warm the bowls. You wanna eat shit that has one cold side? Go ahead. 

Either way, you gotta sauce it:

Saaaaauuuuuuuce!

I mean, it is a chicken thingy. Good for a snack. Each bag has about 14 servings of 6 pieces. So, on sale that was about 71￠ per serving. Not on sale it was about a buck. The sauce has to be like 10￠or less per serving. 

Definitely a buy.

So, why the hell not have some, then share some graham crackers with your dog.

More Hot Dogs

Things have moved on. Moved on from bags of used hot dogs given to me out of pity and moved to Canada (my fellow Americans, good luck with Capt. Coo-Coo Bananas, but I'll still be voting and doing my own decolonization and anti-racism work with my Auntie Fa up north).

My hot dog studies have definitely moved forward. I have a grill. Yes, it is a gas grill. And, yes, I don't have (and have not yet ever had) any gas for it. But it holds promise. More importantly, I bought a 36-pack of hot dogs recently. The hot dog landscape in Canada is weird. Buns come in packs of 12 and hot dogs come in packs of 5, 6 or 10, but sometimes 7 or 8 too.

[rufus photo]
Honestly, I really thought I was done cooking hot dogs at home. I really, really did. But we got a new dog--Rufus--a 18 month old Border Collie. And he is an asshole. So, we are using hot dogs as a treat to train him. Now, he gets the no name® brand chicken hot dogs. Which at 10 dogs (450 grams) for $1.99 CAD are cheap, but they don't have flavor--and passing the salt isn't going to fucking help. But buying hot dogs for dog training only rekindled the fire. The fire in my heart for hot dogs. Or maybe that isn't so much fire as a feeling like an elephant is sitting on my chest and pain is shooting down my left arm. Maybe hot dogs are still a bad idea. Maybe the world is going to end tomorrow. Maybe American democracy will start working again. I don't know.

But this is a food blog, right? And I said something about hot dogs, right? Right.

So: here is a hot dog, pan fried in butter. I dropped the buns in the butter to brown them up too.

Hot dog: 1 at 49¢ (a 56 ¼ gram dog, but only comes in a pack of 36 for $17.99 CAD)
Bun: 1 at 21.5¢ (a 12 pack for $2.59 CAD. I'm buying potato buns next time. Fuck these regular buns)
Butter: 1 tablespoon at let's say 12 ¢?
Total: 82.5¢ CAD.

Now the only questions are do I finish this off with a few Mr. Creamys and will my photos actually fucking upload. Here's a photo of the new dog, as an apology for using the phrase 'bag of dicks' in my last post:

He looks like an angel, right? Looks like.

No More Hot Dogs

Last month I was playing in a bonspeil and our team won a mystery box.  When I asked another player what they thought was in the box I was told "a bag of dicks." Not having much of an idea what that was I promised him that if he was right he'd get the first mushroom stamp with the first fresh dick.

Now the chickens have come home to roost.  With a bag of free hot dogs—used.  Yeah, you know it is time to go down to social services and reapply for SNAP benefits when someone offers you a bunch of used hot dogs and you take them.  The good news is that they also had extra buns.  Or rolls.  I think that is some sort of eastern thing…like Maine or something.

Which brings us to cooking them.  Or re-cooking.  Or, really, re-re-cooking.  Usually I'd boil hot dogs in a shallow pan, but that doesn't seem like a good idea since they've been split.  The microwave is for lazy people, which sounds like me, but doesn't do much for the texture.  So that leaves me with the broiler (too much wasted heat for one hot dog) or throwing the flippity floppity in a pan.  And that really is the best way to get some browning going.

A Hot Dog Sandwich?

There are a lot of questions and cultural implications about hot dogs, but for now I'll only dream of a day with none.

The Pie and the Hound

Yeah, I haven't been to Ohio in a few months.  But I still have dreams about Hound Dog's.

It was worth it with a brother like Martin…

Being back in the DC area presents challenges.  These are mostly related to Mexican Food. 

Now, I won't lie to you: I love Mexican Food.  Very much.  I talk about it at parties.  I dream about it.  I'd almost go as far as saying that it is the last thing that I think about before falling asleep at night and the first thing I think of when I wake up in the morning—except that would be going too far.  But I do get excited about it.

I suppose this is mostly because it is rare in Washington, DC.  There is a lot of delicious Salvadorian food.  Lots.  Now, I don't want to say that this or that isn't "Real" Mexican food.  See, I grew up in the Mid-west and my ideal Mexican meal comes from Chicago.  Admitting that doesn't go over well in Arizona.  I like the food in Arizona too—I was told that I could get "real Mexican food" in Arizona, but it was still real (yeah, we have the same problem when we talk about what "real food" is at the farmer's market—but that is another story).  The good news is that lots of Mexican food can be found nearby—once you know where to look.

The first big advance was Route 1.  Up towards Baltimore.

Martin's is just a first step, there will be more in time.

Chicken Pot Pie?

Yeah, one of those.  Not very impressive.  Nothing special—unless David Cross gets involved.

How was it?  Not bad.  The pastry was ok, flakyish in a sort of chemically engineered way.  There were peas and carrots.  And chicken chunks (not a lot, but there were some).  The star was the gravy.  Not because it was good, but because the gravy really tied the pie together.

And for 69¢, well, this could be ok from time to time.  It was pretty filling—a reasonable meal.  As always the concern with frozen foods is sodium and this one has a good amount, but it is 33% of what you should have in a day (according to the box), which isn't too bad.

The real question is if you want to be this guy.

Travel Sandwiches

Yeah, after a couple of days of these the idea of a shitty hamburger and flaccid french fries will sound pretty good.  But for about 15¢ each it isn't so bad.  Or so good.