Wednesday, December 11, 2013

Everything is Bigger in Texas


Dateline: Houston!

Turns outthey have their own ways of doing things here. When I went into the candy shop and asked if there were pecans (although I said "peck-ans") in the candies they call "Longhorns" I was shocked that I wasn't thrown out, but gently corrected and told that they are made with "pee-cans". In my day I would have gone to far. Have we gotten so soft-even in Texas?

Of course, the real news is about something really important: Donuts.

Donut is what the sign promised--and delivered. You have to understand: My preferred doughnut is usually a tender sugar-cream filled long john. The skin should offer no resistance and the interior must be moist and not too airy (about half way between sandwich bread and a baguette crumb)--you know, a crumb that is a bit custardy. They have those here. But they call theme ├ęclairs (no, they call them eeeee-clares, ok?). The thing about that is that they are a slab of doughnut measuring about 9 by 4 inches, about an inch high. Less an ├ęclair or long john, not even a chocolate frosted log (yeah, the maple log is more common, mostly occurring out west). No, this is clearly a milled or hewn plank of doughnut. I could club a seal with this thing if it were just stale enough.
Almost as good as a medical grade sterile 2x4.

How was it? Big. It came off a bit stale at one end, but had a nice bite otherwise. The crumb was a bit tol thight, but without being too heavy. The frosting was typical-not chocolaty enough (ideally the frosting is chocolaty to the point of almost being to the edge of being bitter, but not over the line-the sweetness is provided by the filling). Here is the real problem: the filling. It was oily, yes, but we'll take what we can get. See, it wss loose. Almost a liquid. Lacking in viscosity. Still, not bad for an airport doughnut.

Now, if I had to eat dinner here in Houston I'd definitely eat at Space City BBQ. Every other place is too fancy--including both burrito places in terminal B. Space City BBQ has a sign printed on foam-core and stuck up with foam double stick tape. Too bad I'm not hungry.

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